No More Muscle Tone

I was cruising through the blogs on my Reader today and came across this post by Chartroose. The photo is definitely hilarious (the words clown car alone make me giggle), but it reminded me of a scary conversation that I had with someone when I was working at the fair.

This lady had had a number of kids, and while the word ‘kegels’ didn’t actually come up, I’m guessing she didn’t do ‘em. Because she shared with me that after having however many kids she had, she can no longer wear a tampon because IT JUST FALLS RIGHT OUT.

!!!!!

She may have made a mention of what sex is like for her, but if so, I must have taken a torch to my memory because I remember nothing after she said that.

So while this is totally rude and inappropriate, I’m going to say it anyway. I think maybe this lady has the same problem that the fair worker did, in that since there’s no way of keeping anything IN, there’s no way of keeping anything OUT. She thinks all her kids have been conceived through Immaculate Conception, but her husband knows better.

If you have a better joke than mine, PLEASE SHARE. Scott Adams? I know you’re up to the task.

I Should Be Writing But Instead I’m Reading

Dear Books Waiting to be Reviewed,

I’m sorry you’ve been waiting so long for your review. I’ll get to you, I promise! It’s just that I had to check a coupla things on WordPress and next thing I know it’s late and if I don’t get in bed now I won’t have time to read. Surely you understand! If you’re angry, blame her:

 

I didn’t think I’d like it as much as I do, so I apologize to you. I will get to your reviews this weekend. Probably. Unless I haven’t finished Comfort Food. Erm, I mean, no matter what.

See ya later! I’m off to read in bed! Love ya! ~trish

Manual Labor - Booking Through Thursday

Before I get to the BTT question for this week, please, if you haven’t read my post about Amy, please do so now. Amy is a fellow book blogger who is in the hospital for cancer treatment. I’m organizing a package be sent to her of gifts and well wishes…you can just write her a note and tell her she’ll be in your thoughts and prayers.

On to BTT…

This week’s Booking Through Thursday question is:

Writing guides, grammar books, punctuation how-tos . . . do you read them? Not read them? How many writing books, grammar books, dictionaries–if any–do you have in your library?

Erm, I don’t have any of these books and I’ve never read them. The English language makes sense to me so if I ever wonder about something I look it up and I rarely need to reference it again. Except for when to use who and whom. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t have a problem with this? Can you explain it to me?

WAIT! I do own a dictionary. I like my dictionary. My boss bought me Eats, Shoots & Leaves, but again, do I really want to be reading about grammar and punctuation unless I have a specific question (in which case it’s annoying to look up in ES&L)? I think…no.

Ya know, this brings up an interesting point. I was doling out phone books today, and someone said, “NO! I don’t want a phone book! We shouldn’t have so many phone books when we can find most of that information online. It’s a waste of trees…blah blah blah.” I think she has a point. Are we getting to the time when these kinds of books are obsolete when you can easily find this information online?

I guess that’s my answer. I can’t WAIT to see what y’all say about who v. whom and whether these types of books are obsolete. Don’t forget to check out my post about Amy…reaching out to her can cost you as little as $.41 (if you hurry! $.42 if you don’t hurry).

Urgent: I Need Your Help

It didn’t take me long to feel connected to many of you through blogging, and that’s why I need your help now.

I met Amy when I was giving away a copy of Did I Expect Angels?; she entered the contest with a very touching comment (#22), and when her name wasn’t picked, I sent her an email letting her know she wasn’t picked but that I would like to send her a copy of the book anyway. Her response was funny and very grateful…little did I know that I would be even more touched by her in the coming months.

Amy shared with me (and has now shared with all of you HERE) that she is battling cancer once again. This is the fourth recurrence in 14 years. Sometimes I marveled at how upbeat and positive she could be when I knew she was in pain and scared.

She’s in the hospital once again waiting to have surgery. She’ll be in the hospital for a while, and I want to send her something. My something would be little, a card telling her I’m thinking about her with a modest gift card to Amazon, but I thought that it would be nice if a bunch of little things could come together to become something big.

So here’s what I’m proposing: If you leave a comment, I will email you with MY address. If you send me something for Amy, be it a heartfelt card telling her she’ll be in your thoughts and prayers and/or a little gift such as a gift card, I will put it in a box and mail it to her. I would need everything to have arrived at my address by May 19th so that I could send it out.

I would like her to know that in her darkest hour she has people who think about her and care about her, even if we’ve never met. We shouldn’t wait until people have already passed away to talk about how much we like them.

Six Random Things About Myself (This Is A Good One)

Aaron at That’s the Book! tagged me for the Six Random Things About Myself meme (by the way, before you read on, I know this is technically a book blog, but this is really six random things about myself…I figure most of you know I like books):

1. I like to “eat” chocolate milk. This is what I do: Pour myself a glass of milk, pour chocolate sauce in the glass so that the chocolate sauce falls to the bottom, grab a spoon and carefully gently dip the spoon to the bottom of the glass, grabbing a little bit of the chocolate sauce and the plain milk, eat and repeat. This is a guilty pleasure that only one friend (roommate) knows I do. Dave doesn’t even know I do this. Fortunately, he doesn’t read my blog.
2. I collect vintage jewelry, vintage dresses, and vintage ties. I guess this is hand-in-hand with lindy hopping, but I absolutely love my collections. I don’t wear the vintage dresses anymore because they (alas) don’t fit, but I’ve whittled my collection down to about 75 dresses, none of which I can part with.
3. I play D&D with my friends. Lame-o-nade, I know, but I play anyway. Actually, my friends invited me to play and I think my exact words were, “Um, yeah, I don’t think that’s really my thang.” Unfortunately, they were right, I was wrong, I do enjoy it and can’t believe I’ve hit this new low of geek-dom. I think that’s why I want to read Confessions of a Part-time Sorceress: A Girl’s Guide to the D&D Game (Dungeons & Dragons).
4. My mom is not invited to my wedding. Shocking, I know! Even more shocking is that I really never think about her. I wish I had a (better) mom and I’m attracted to moms like dogs are attracted to foul smells, but I never think of MY mom. Maybe that’s why I have a plethora of mom-types invited to the wedding.
5. I had to stop watching Charmed because I was too (as I like to say) “emotionally involved”. Each show would make me cry and I finally had to stop watching it. I hope to get back to it someday…
6. I hate it when people use the wrong word or misspell words. Is it that difficult to learn the difference between there, their, and they’re? Really? Or when to use a or an?  Or just to click spell check? I don’t mean the occasional mis-type or using texting lingo or slang or whatever. I’m talking about the (blog post) rife with misspellings and wrong words that makes my fingers itch to retype it and make it prettier and better. MY NAME IS TRISH AND I’M A WORDAHOLIC.

Now I have to tag six people…here goes: Heather at Book Addiction, Natasha at Maw Books Blog, Lena at Reading Obsession, Darcie at Reading Derby, Melanie at lit*chick, and Tricia at Library Queue.

Here are the rules:

• Link to the person that tagged you (hello, it’s me)
• Post the rules somewhere in your meme
• Write the six random things
• Tag six people in your post
• Let the tagees know they’ve been chosen by leaving a comment on their blog
• Let the tagger (hello, it’s me) know your entry is posted

Okay, well, I guess that’s it. I’m outy-5 G.